Grainger

* * * * Doin' the Potty Dance

I apologize that it's been so long since I've last posted.  I know how important this blog is to all of my readers, ha!  I've been under the weather lately and haven't really been out and about pooping around the city.  We did have a problem with our AC recently and needed to pick up a part for it so I got to review the BS at Grainger, an electrical supply store.

I believe this is a store that sells mainly wholesale so there's a small area of the building that sells parts and the rest of the building is offices and warehouse space I guess.  The one I visited is located off of 45 and 1960.  Anyway, their BS is pretty impressive. 

It's huge!

It's spotless!

It smells good!

There's 3 stalls, 2 sinks, and a handy little tampon dispenser!  Something I've never seen before, right next to the door on your way out, there's a hand towel dispenser and a small waste basket so after you wash your hands you don't have to dirty them up by grabbing the germ infested door handle.  AND, you don't have to take a paper towel to the door and then find a place to throw it away later.  It's all provided for you right there, so thoughtful!  

And really the only negatives to this BS is that it is absolutely silent!  I really hate that shit!  Maybe other people don't mind as much sharing those bodily noises with their co-workers.  I mean guys seem to really enjoy the sound of their own farts.  My husband is constantly laughing at the crazy sounds that come out of his ass.  So maybe in the men's bathroom they just let it all out without any shame.  Perhaps whoever has the loudest farts or makes the biggest splash is applauded or praised, maybe he's the man OR the king of the day...maybe?!  

Maybe... but it's not that way for women.  Some men completely deny the fact that women even pass gas or take huge anaconda dumps!  I'VE EVEN HEARD SOME WOMEN DENY IT!  BITCH PLEASE, WHO ARE YOU KIDDING!!!   You're probably farting under the radar right now as we speak!  AND everyone shits.  But that's just not acceptable behavior for a lady in society.  So I don't get it.  Why the SILENT BS!?!  I mean, why even have doors on the stalls then?  Everyone can already hear and smell my business!!!  Give us a break and turn on some tunes or blast that AC for fuck sake so I can at least walk out of this BS with my head held high and still able to face my co-workers.  I mean, I'm a pretty damn fast pooper.  No one would even SUSPECT that I just took a huge dump.  For reals, I'm not kidding, I poop faster than a man pees sometimes.  And that's without him wiping and washing his hands because let's face it, men don't do that!  

True story.  When I clean the bathrooms at my work the women's room is always so tidy and it smells so clean but it will be out of TP and hand towels.  I'll go over to the men's and there's piss all over the floor, it smells like shhhhhhhiiiiiiiit, but yet the two rolls of toilet paper will have been untouched and only a few hand towels will have been used.  And you can count exactly how many hand towels too because they'll be on the floor wadded up!  One....two.....three!  3 men have washed their hands today!  Or maybe just one OCD man.  Alright, I'm done.  This is about the bathroom and not about men's bathroom behavior.

The last tiny negative about Grainger's BS is that the women's room was so spacious you could have fit a couch and some end tables and a nice rug and some lamps, but yet there was no changing table!!!  Hmmmm...

Overall I would poop at Grainger again.  I'd just have to make sure I was the only woman in there! 

Half Price Books

* * * Anxious Anus

I visited the Half Price Books in Humble on a Sunday morning.  First of all, if you're feeling especially gassy, I do not recommend you do your book shopping early in the morning.  There were a few employees working and maybe another customer or so, but the place was dead silent!  Where's the fucking music people?  Maybe they forgot to turn it on that morning.

This review is only for the Half Price Books in Humble because I'm sure the BS varies at different locations.

The Humble BS had two stalls, one handicap.  When you walk in there is a little seating area with a bench and then it looks like one stall was taken out so they could put in a hand sink.  So the space where you wash your hands is long and narrow and only one person can fit at a time.

One of the first things you'll notice about this BS is that it is old and nasty.  It doesn't seem well-maintained and almost feels like a gas station BS, eeek!  The floors are filthy, the toilets are old and stained, and there are random splatters on the walls, yuck, what the fuck is that?!  The good things I can say about this BS is they have a changing station and purse hooks and the AC is on full blast so it's sure to cover up any unpleasant sounds!

I'd also like to add that a few doors down from the Half Price Books in Humble is a Plato's Closet.  I've only shopped there O N E time because the one time I went I all of a sudden had a shit attack!  I noticed there was a door with a unisex bathroom sign and I saw an employee come out just in time.  When I tried to open the door it was locked!!!  I started to panic but managed to find the employee and asked for the key to the bathroom only to have her tell me that there was NO PUBLIC RESTROOM!  Bitch shut the fuck up, I just saw you come out that bathroom now give me the god damn key before I shit all over you!!!  Seriously.  But no, she insisted that bathroom was just for employees.  BULLSHIT, I bet she just took a huge dump and she's embarrassed to let me use it after her while the scent of her shit still lingers.

My point is that in that moment I realized Half Price Books was a few doors down and I knew THEY had a bathroom so I ran my little ass over there and made it just in time.  The moral of the story is that a bad BS is better than NO BS!!!