TJ Maxx

* * * Anxious Anus

I frequent a relatively new TJ Maxx in Atascocita and I love it!  And like I've said before, Shopping gives me the Shits so I always find myself in the bathroom and it's about time I did a PR (poo review).

The bathrooms are easy to find.  At this store they are located in the very back right corner, right past the baby section.  There's a large sign above the door so they're hard to miss.

The door actually leads to some offices and a men's and women's room.  The women's room is the first door on the right, good, it's easy to find and easy to get to and I don't have to walk down the hall like the men do.  Because we all know that when you gotta GO, you gotta GO!  I don't need any extra steps that could potentially lead to an accident in the pants!

At first glance the BS (bathroom situation) looks nice and inviting, but once you get in the stalls and you look a little closer it gets real nasty real quick.  This BS had 3 stalls and 2 sinks and it was nice and spacious.  But I don't know how much that matters because the toilets were DIS. GUST. ING!  Poo poo splatters all over the place!  And again with the open trash bin right at nose level, what's up with that???  COVER THAT SHIT!  Or put the waste bin on the floor in a corner, not where I have to turn away and hold my breath when I sit on the toilet.  I like to be comfortable when I take a shit, don't you???

I mean I don't really need to see other women's USED tampons!  I really don't.  And ladies, if you accidently smear blood on the trash bin, or light switch, or when you go to flush, the least you should do is clean it up and then you should probably get an employee to come in with the disinfectant and give the area a good hard scrub.  Because that's just NASTY and DANGEROUS!  Am I right, Am I right?  I'm right.

Besides the poop and blood the BS was just not well maintained.  There was paper all over the floor, the purse hooks were broken off, the hand towel dispenser wasn't refilled and instead there was just a giant roll of paper you had to grab from and half the roll was soaked from people's dripping hands.

With all the space in this BS and with it being right next to the BABY SECTION, you would think a changing table would be available to all mommy shoppers, but no, no changing table.

And to top it all off,  the number one reason any bathroom can get a bad review in my book ... THE PLACE WAS DEAD SILENT!  No music playing, no AC, just me and my butt burps for all the world to hear.  Great.  Thanks TJ Maxx.

Italiano's

* * * * Doin' the Potty Dance

It's not often that I stumble upon a glorious BS but hate the restaurant or store it belongs to.  It's usually the other way around, I'll love the establishment but despise the BS, which means I'll only order carry out or send in my husband to do my shopping.

But Italiano's is different.

A group of co-workers and myself made reservations to eat one Saturday night and they put us in the banquet hall.  The only problem was that there was another  L A R G E R  group also using the space and the only thing that divided our two groups were a few room dividers.  Now we were there to celebrate.  And the other group was there to pray and to hear some speaker.  UMMM, HELLO, SEE ANYTHING WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE ITALIANO'S???  Not only did our group have to quiet down when the other group did, BUT we ended up getting stuck with the SHITTIEST SERVICE OF ALL FUCKING TIME!

Now I usually go to bed around 9, but it was a special occasion,  what the hell I could stay up a little later.  Well we met for dinner at 7 and we didn't get our fucking food until after 9!  It took almost an hour and a half and 5 people begging before they brought us the god damn bread.  Water refills?  Forget about it!  Finally one of my co-workers discovered where the giant water pitcher was hiding and so we just helped ourselves.  Another co-worker ordered a glass of wine and NEVER GOT IT.  She even reminded the waiter a couple times.  Another co-worker got a plate with a dried up tomato crusted on it!  And he even had to bring it to the waiter's attention.  How do you not notice a big fucking bright red dried up tomato on a small white plate???  HOW?  Guuuuuuuurl!

I know waiting is not an easy job.  I work retail and I deal with customers all the time so I know it's not easy.  But our group, even though it was a large group and we were there to celebrate, we were not at all difficult.  We all know how it is so we were as patient as we could be.  It just got to the point where we felt like the other group was getting all the service and attention.

When the food came out it was the kind of italian food where it looks like they used ragu sauce!  And this is gonna sound weird, but their spaghetti was FAT!  I just don't like FAT spaghetti.  I prefer angel hair, but if not that then at least serve me some normal sized spaghetti!  This was by far the fattest spaghetti I have ever seen.  It just looked cheap and my husband said it tasted cheap.

I did find 3 good things about Italiano's if you can believe that.  One, the salad dressing.  Two, their cheese pizza.  And Three, their BS!

In the banquet hall the women's bathroom is located in the very back.  It has two stalls, one big and one small.  A nice granite counter top with two sinks separates the two bathroom stalls.  I think that's genius!  Two stalls on opposite sides of the restroom gives you much more privacy.  On top of that the AC was on full blast to cover up any lady farts.  The entire restroom was spotless and there were purse hooks on the stall doors.  There wasn't any music playing and there was no changing table, but overall it was a good BS.  I'd go there for the BS, and maybe pick up some salad dressing on the way out, but I'll never eat there again.  How convenient that the tip was included when you gave the SHITTIEST SERVICE IN ALL OF NORTH AMERICA!  How convenient.  Bastards.  I went there weeks ago and it still pisses me off!  Yeah, forget about picking up salad dressing and giving them your business.  I recommend you just go and take a huge SHIT in their nice toilets and give them your BUSINESS that way.  : )